Your Options
What Are My Options ?
You may be a person who does not have a gambling problem. If this is you, then this website can help you to keep it that way. You may be a person who acknowledges, deep within yourself, that you have a problem with gambling. The following information can help you to change the problem.
Your options
Basically, there are three options:
1. Do Nothing
To do nothing means not to do anything that will change the way you gamble.You may think this is the best option for you, especially if your life is manageable. But consider the following:
If nothing changes, then nothing changes. If you do the same things, you will get the same results.
Reading about how to change and not doing anything about it will not produce change.
Changing old ways is never easy, because the old ways represents what you want to do, but not necessarily what we need to do. You may want to gamble, but do you need to?
To experience change is to do what you need to do, not what you want to do.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
2. Control Your Gambling
This may be ok as a strategy for some people, but you may find that your gambling starts to slip out of control.
Gamble purely for entertainment and fun, not as the means of getting money, or a way of coping.
Allocate a set amount for your gambling, and stop when you've spent it.
Know when and how to stop gambling before going over your limit.
Stop gambling when reaching your limit, and have no resentment about stopping.
Guidelines to Keep in Control
Set limits. Work out the difference between your total income and necessary expenditure (bills, rent, food, car, etc). Use only 25%, of the income you have left over, to gamble with.
The most you can gamble with is your set limit until your next income. Any winnings, or other unexpected income, is not to be used for gambling.
Accept losses. When you lose or reach your limit, quit - don't chase after your losses. Quit without resenting having to quit.
Stay in contact with the obvious - that you will inevitably lose over time.
Use gambling as a form of play. Play/gamble for enjoyment - not to win money.
Try not to gamble alone. Play/gamble socially with friends.
3. Quit Gambling
Why Quit? - Gambling as a Progressive Dis-ease.
Problem gambling never seems to get progressively better, usually it gets progressively worse. Progressive does not simply mean that you gamble more and more, but means that the symptoms get worse with more gambling. Becoming more dis-at-ease with yourself.
What are the symptoms?
The knowing feeling that your gambling is not getting better, but worse.
The knowing feeling that your gambling is, or getting, out of control.
Gambling is no longer a source of entertainment, but has become a source of money, or a way of coping.
Gambling can awaken the 'greed' in a person - wanting more of the same.
The more losses are experienced, the more the personal value of money decreases, and the gambler becomes desensitised to periods of losing. All of this leads to increasing amounts of gambling - either in amounts of money, time, or both.
Gambling becomes the way of coping with other living problems. For instance: gambling to overcome financial problems, or any emotional problems such as boredom, loneliness, depression, anxiety, or anger.
Guidelines for Quitting.
Own the problem - Come to understand and accept that controlled gambling is no longer an option for you. Your personal history points to repeated loss of control. To stop gambling is not the problem - to stay stopped is. The problem is with the person gambling. The only true reason why a problem gambler wants to gamble, is because they want to. It is always their thinking that leads them to problem gambling. So, what needs to change is the self - the person with the problem. To quit gambling is to quit wanting to gamble. Learn and practice ways of not wanting to gamble.
Get help - Recovery requires individual determination, will, and a belief that assistance is necessary from other than yourself. To overcome problem gambling is not easy, and to do it without support is even more difficult. A vigorous social support from a self-help group such as Gamblers Anonymous and/or friends and relatives helps tremendously. The more support the better.
Daily commitment - Understand that recovery from problem gambling takes time. Be patient. Give yourself at least one month (of practicing change) for every year gambled. Most people take this long before feeling comfortable with not gambling - not wanting to gamble.
Make a daily affirmation^/assertion - This helps you to keep aware of your need to stay away from gambling. 'No matter what happens, I will not gamble today'. Use this self-directed statement, with meaning, whenever you get the urge to gamble. If you feel 'as if' your day is too much to handle, then be willing not to gamble for smaller periods, at a time, in your day. This is how you stay stopped one day at a time. Another affirmation that works well together with the above is: 'Every day and in every way, I am becoming better and better' - Emile Coué.
^ Affirm = implies conviction of truth and willingness to stand by one's statement.
Restrict access to money - Cut off all sources of money. Carry with you only what is needed for the day to get by. No need to carry extra (non allocated) money. Any extra money easily becomes gambling money in the mind of the problem gambler.
Accept all your past losses - By not accepting losses, you are tempting yourself to look for ways to overcome them by gambling. Accept that what is lost is lost, and cannot be recovered by gambling.
Don't be secretive about your losses and debts - be honest. Seek financial assistance to overcome your losses, or debts, the safer way. See Financial Strategies.
Learn what needs to be changed to minimise any urge to gamble - Look for ways to change your thinking and actions towards your life and gambling. See Self Help.
Plan your Day - Your day needs to be filled with things to do, including relaxation and recreation - rewarding activities to replace your gambling with. Learn to become aware of times when you could get bored, lonely, depressed, anxious, or any other unfavourable times in your day that could trigger the urge to gamble. Plan to counteract any of these possibilities.
Experiment with change - Learn to take new healthy risks in your life. Take a chance in experimenting with change. Practice different ways of changing your attitudes and behaviors that will support a healthy non-gambling lifestyle.
Become familiar with the Self Help section - Look for different ways to changing the old attitudes and behaviors to newer ones. Remember, there will always be room for improvement and serenity in a person's life - life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured.
